somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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