he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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