Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
