I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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