Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize