The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
