new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
