There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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