I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
