Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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