Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
