Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
where are my eyebrows?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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