I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize