"it" just moved
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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