CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
