He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
