oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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