you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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