Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
