remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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