We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I party with great urgency now.
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