i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
