No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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