i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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