I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
