I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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