Christians are straight up FREAKS
id be glad to
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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