I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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