Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
