At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
