Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
