Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize