He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
