my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
