i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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