Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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