Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
