Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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