If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You don't make any sense
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