It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
