So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
