you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
