i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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