After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
