2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
