I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize