How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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