I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize