it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
well you can't waste a boner
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
