The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
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I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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