do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've blown a few things in my day
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
