The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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