You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
