Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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