im drinking this country out of the recession.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
