after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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