everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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