the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
this boner is exhausting
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
