just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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