I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
