Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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