What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Do vagina's smell?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
