I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
