I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
