I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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