Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
