There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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